Monday, November 06, 2006

And There He Was...

I used to hate him, well not just me but my friends way back in college. We were batchmates, we were taking the same course, but he belonged to a different block.

He dated my classmate, in fact they became a couple. She was intelligent and a great leader.

Again I repeat, I used to hate him, until something happened that changed the way that I feel for him.

No I do not, did not loved him. I was in full control of my faculties, however control of my libido and raging hormones is a different story.

Hate is such a strong word, maybe I ought to use the word despise. I despised him because he was a closet queen. I knew from the moment I first laid my eyes on him, I knew that he is gay. Even during the time he was going out with our class president, I know that he's gay. But he kept on denying the fact.

I used to ask myself "why do I give a fuck" about him. Whether he prefers cocks to pussies should not affect me one bit, that's his business. Maybe its just that I hated the fact that he's just trying to fool himself and in the process I felt that he was using my classmate, to cover his identity crisis. Or it could be that I just envied him. Courting a girl or actually entering a heterosexual relationship is something I cannot imagine doing. I can pass for a straight guy alright but I know and I've accepted the fact that I love men and I even love them more whenever they suck me or allow me to fuck them.

I digress. As I was saying, I used to despise him. The operative word being "despise".

During senior year, I had the opportunity to get to know him better. Just as I've suspected he's a first-class asshole. His attitude is way too crass for my taste. So every opportunity I got, I try to contradict, quash him and making him appear like an insipid, insignificant creature. We were always at each other's throats. We had a shouting match during practice for one of our presentations, he nearly had a heart attack when I asked him one time if he forgot to bring his IQ, because I hated his phoniness and his lame attempt to comment on one of our group projects.

As I've mentioned above, he was never my classmate, but that fact did not preclude him from moving within my social circle.

And so this continued for several months until one time, inside my room at the dorm where I was staying. He borrowed a notebook because he wanted to copy some notes. Forgetful that I am, I gave him the notebook only to remember that I scribbled some silly fantasies at the back page. And true to form, asshole that he is, he was reading the back page and he was laughing like an idiot. I immediately asked him to return my notebook to which he refused vehemently. So I told him that if he's not going to give the god-damn notebook back to me, I'd grab his cock. He said "sure" and so I did.

Just like the song from the campy movie High School Musical, it was the "start of something new."

Well I never thought that the day would come when my first teenage/pre-adult sexual encounter with another guy would be with him.

I sucked at sucking. True. And because of that, I discovered my cosmic purpose - to become the best TOP I could ever be.

The "relationship" went on for months, even after he left the dorm during second sem. He still came by my room to "visit" me. We showered together, we jerked off together.

He's got the biggest cock I've ever seen/sucked in my lifetime.

Funny thing though, despite this new found "relationship", it never stopped our bickerings. We both display genuine animosity whenever we are in the company of our batchmates.

Soon after graduation, we got separated. He went to a different review school and I went to another. After passing the board we both worked for different companies.

One time, I was applying to transfer to another company when I happened to chance upon him. I got his number. I tried inviting him again, but he refused saying that he's changed, that he doesn't want a repeat of what happened between us, not to me and not to anyone.

So I gave him that. Maybe he wanted to become "straight"

And so I thought, about two years later. I got word from some batch mates, that he's "out". Out to the world except his family.

I was asked to check his friendster account, and sure there were tell-tale signs that he was indeed out. Now he migrated to some other country, probably to spare his family, most of all his military man of a father, from embarassment. I know that his homosexuality is a very big no-no to his family.

I missed him. No I don't miss his company, he's a world class bitch, remember? But I definitely miss his scent, his beautiful face, his body, the way we fit each other in bed.

And NO, I'm not horny.


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