Sunday, August 27, 2006

Dazed...Confused...

Shit talaga. How could I possibly have reached this age without knowing anything about relationships.

I'm talking about relationships between couples.

And so I met this great guy, however the venue wasn't so great. Just by the venue alone you could already make a passing judgment that this person is not such a good catch.

Pero hindi eh, based on our conversations he is such a nice fellow, anyone could simply fall in love by his wit, humor and intelligence.

Problem now is, I have no fucking clue as to how to go about it. Am I being too aggressive or am I being pakipot. I know, I know this is not your regular straight boy/girl relationship requiring all that courtship and shit, whatever. And, nga pala, courtship is so outdated, meron pa bang ganun ngayon even for straight couples?

Can you blame me? I like him. Shit. I really am dazed and confused and I feel so lost. I think I know the problem, I am being too cerebral about this. Why not go with the flow right? I mean everything might just fall into place, right? I hope, I hope or else this relationship is destined to go kaput in a matter of days... (happy thoughts, happy thoughts...)

Hay naku talaga.... Help!!!!

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Continuation...

We are somewhat taking "it" slow, whatever that means...

We were supposed to meet again the other day but he backed out the last minute, giving me some lame excuse about being asked to report to work. My ass!!!! Anyway, I stopped texting him after that, and now he's the one running after me. Hahahaha. Can't resist my charm now, ha?

I'm actually having fun now, its not much of a relationship I know but its a start right?

So there....

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Tsk...Tsk...Tsk


I wonder what happened to the case filed against the organizers of the 1st Anniversary of "Wowowee." That no-brainer of a show of ABS-CBN, with the no-brain(er) host Willie Revillame.

Remember this?

70+ people died at the Philsport Arena (formerly known as Ultra) just because of the ineptitude and the stupidity of a few. Around 6:30 in the morning of February 4, 2006, after days of hardship, falling in line and sleeping by the roadside, just to get a shot at the prizes being offered by the show, the unthinkable happened.

After hearing cries about a bomb, panic stricken people ran for their lives and in the process left many trampled to death underneath.

Such travesty.

Revillame, no matter what the network says should be held responsible, he admitted that he calls the shots for this show. Afterall it is his show. Just because of the stupid network war and the desire to come on top of the network ratings, the organizers including ABS-CBN stooped down to the lowest level possible and preyed on the poor "masa"

Like dangling a bait to a hungry pack of wolves.

Now the show is back, and has been airing for quite sometime now.

The audacity of Revillame and his posse. Once again, they are back to their old dirty tricks and stupid antics. Back to making "gulang" to the masa. Back to humiliating people for fun in exchange for a paltry sum.

Shame...shame...shame.

Nakakahiya, sobra.

As to the case. It's been dragging along just fine, it has been six months already. I wonder what's keeping them from prosecuting the people behind the show.

Shows like this should be banned, and people who prey upon hapless people should be skinned alive and tarred.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Kabaklaan...Isang Kasaysayan

Bakla ka ba?

Frequent question that I encounter back during primary and secondary school days.

My normal answer to that back then was a resounding N-O. But most of the time, I had my way of dodging these type of questions, because I couldn't accept it. That is not who I am.

They say we are not supposed to remember anything from before we turned five. But I object. I can remember that my sensuality and my homosexuality started as early as two years old.

You see I used to play with this next door neighbor. A boy. Though fragments of memories, I can recall that we used to lock the door of my parents' room. And I can remember that we did some very intimate things that we are not supposed to know at that age.

Though I cannot understand it at that time, well even now, it just felt right.

I wonder what happened to that playmate? Did he turn out same way that I did?

And then just before I joined kindergarten, I used to play with these kids, but our game went beyond the street. Our game when straight to the bedroom.

At the age of four or five, mind you.

So I'm a very sensual person, and I discovered my sexual preference at a very young age.

I have never experienced having a crush on a girl, never. Though when asked of my type of girl, I would name some random girls that we know, mostly they were the preetiest of our class, just to save face. Whatever.

I never tried courting a girl, that at least I am proud of. I never tried "curing" myself as suggested by a lot of people.

Personally, I felt that this would be unfair to any girl, should I decide to court one.

I mean, I know that it's sausage that I want, so why go for the tahong (mussel)???

It took me years to accept this.

I distanced myself from other gay students. My circle of friends are mostly female. I convinced myself that I can relate more to my girl-friends rather than with the baklas. I was so proud of myself.

I felt that I am not like them. I am not your typical queer. I am not a parlorista. I am dignified, respected, admired. I don't want them to be my friends.

But reality has its way of coming around. It haunted me until I can no longer escape and just accept the fact that I am bakla.

One thing I regret though, I had more action back when I was two than now when I am 26. But that's not exactly accurate...

Majadero Ako

Okay so this is my first post here, let me get a few things out of the way.

First up, I am G-A-Y. I'm gay. So if you're a homophobic, then this blog is not for you. Might as well drop off the face of the planet okay?

Second, I am starting this blog to write about the things that I've experienced in life, and they are not exactly all related to my being gay. I want to write about the things that I cannot and will never ever tell anyone, not even my friends. Yes I want to write about the "not-quite-dark-at-all" experiences that I had in the not so recent past.

Third, I am in my mid twenties. I could be your typical gay man who is trying to work his way up that corporate ladder. Why did I wrote that? I don't know.

Lastly, I am the type of person everybody loves - at least those people who know me personally. I am an active youth leader in the parish, has a squeeky clean image, with so many people looking up to me as their own personal saint. I am the son most mothers could only pray for to have. I enjoy the respect of my priest friends.

All of them oblivious to the fact that I am currently on my way to the burning pits of hell.

This is my life...this is my blog.

And I will damn write whatever it is that I want to write.

Topics that I might probably write about:
  1. My education
  2. My family
  3. My friends
  4. My work
  5. My lovelife or lack thereof
  6. My sexlife - which I don't think you are interested in
  7. My faith
  8. My view about the government
  9. Random comments about people
  10. I might probably rant and/or rave about random things

I chose to name this blog as majadero because basically - I'm MAJADERO.

Behind that saintly smile lurks a person fond of criticizing people - as if I'm perfect. I am the type of person to carry a grudge for years - without these people (who I loathe so much) knowing. I am a two-faced little hellion (not that I'm little).

I can pretend that everything is okay, even if it is not.

Again, to those readers who had the misfortune of reading my blog. I am sorry, I just want to unload a lot of things back to this mundane world.

I am not ungrateful. I am merely unburdening the load.